


I lost someone.

by MidnightRice



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Crying, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, PTSD, Panic Attack, Siblings, Vietnam Flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-01 22:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19186687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightRice/pseuds/MidnightRice
Summary: Klaus Hargreeves is struggling and his brother helps him out.





	I lost someone.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is just one gigantic run-on sentence.
> 
> Its my first fanfic and its awful but screw it maaan. As us kids allegedly say, “YOLO”
> 
> I’m wide open to criticism or any recommendations you may have, so please don’t hesitate to fire away.

Klaus lurched forward, slamming his forehead and clenched fist against the wall. He closed his eyes and drew in a long shaky breath, desperately hoping to calm himself. If he could just make it through this nightmarish day then it would all be okay. He was jittery and high off his own adrenaline yet currently being crushed by overwhelming fear -- immobilized and paralyzed. The energy within him was so pent up that his insides were rattling, the very essence of himself screaming and scratching and banging against the inside of his skin, begging to be released from the unsteadiness of his blood. 

What could he do? 

If his brain couldn’t function then how could his body be expected to do anything other than crumble under the terrible rule of its monarch. He felt like he was a major screw up. Maybe even a permanent screw up based on the way he felt right now. 

He couldn’t breathe, why couldn’t he breathe? His thoughts grew increasingly panicked and relentless with each passing second.

Why was it so hard to breathe?

Short gasps escaped his lips and he felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen. As hard as he tried to control his breathing, his efforts were futile. Within moments he was hyperventilating, his chest moving up and down rapidly. 

Klaus kept trying to remind himself that he was okay but the rational side of his thoughts were greatly outnumbered and greatly overpowered by the irrational ones, which at the moment, were tugging him down into a pit of panic.

He turned from the corner of his room and stumbled towards the door, his goal was to actually turn the handle but he was quickly halted by a wave of dizziness that came upon him without warning. He braced himself on the wall and slid down it slowly, trying to avoid painfully crashing to the ground.  
“I can’t- do this-” Klaus heaved out weakly, resting his upper half on his bent knees.  
The tears that had been threatening to spill out for so long were now pouring down his face, absolutely unstoppable. 

He kept reliving it. Over and over. He didn’t know if the last remaining piece of him could withstand much more. He was a shell of himself, a simple dark and lonely silhouette in a world of colorfully complex statues.

Bullets. Smoke. Fire. Screaming. Blood. So much blood, so much noise. Just noise, more noise, and even more noise. It was unbearable. As the violent ringing in his ears became ever more present and as the chills that shot up his spine like white-hot electrical currents shook him with terrifying ferocity; he pressed further inside himself, willing his vocal chords not to scream at the severity. 

He was stuck in his mind, being ruthlessly dragged so far from reality... silenced and pinned to the floor by mere moments, by flashes in time. His eyes were clenched shut but he could see it all, he could see everything. He could see his muddy boots, the wilted grass, and the blanket of thick smoke that engulfed him; choking his lungs. He could see the bursts of orange gold rip though the sky, creating fiery blooms of wicked destruction. He could feel the sweltering heat that radiated from each air molecule and the slick drops of sweat that drenched his clothes. He could see all the damage set aflame by rage and each moment of peace stomped on by the casualties of war. He could hear the ear-splitting crashes and explosions, the yelling and the screaming and the crying. He could see the shining dark crimson coating his hands, could feel it trickling down his wrists. He could hear his own hopeless cries and the cries of the one right below him. Dave... sweet, sweet Dave. In that very moment he swore he could hear his own heart break too. The ache of deep loss casting a shadow over his body and plaguing every inch of his being, he missed the guy so much. It was so many years ago and yet it was yesterday.

Klaus felt himself retreating, racking his mind for a spot of peace to take shelter under. But there was nothing... utterly nothing until he felt a warm hand gently squeeze his shoulder. 

This act of comfort was such a contrast to his current pain that it snapped him back into reality and grounded him there. He was still afraid but- less afraid.  
Klaus lifted his head wearily and locked eyes with a very concerned Diego who had knelt down directly in front of him. 

“Hey” Diego whispered, “You’re okay... You’re safe. Just breathe.”

Those few words nudged an abundance of fresh tears down his cheeks, partially because of how much he had needed someone there with him and how finally someone was there, he wasn’t alone anymore. What a relief that he wasn’t on his own, that his brother was pulling him back to safety. Diego was his lighthouse, he’d never declare it out loud but he accepted it wholeheartedly and was immensely grateful for it.

Diego was now holding onto both of his shoulders, gingerly rubbing his thumbs back and forth, hoping to comfort him. Klaus couldn’t help but lean forward into the soothing touch, especially as the sobs began pouring out of him uncontrollably. Diego had known that Klaus was hurting, just not this much. 

“Shhh, I’ve got you.” Diego reminded him gently. “I’m here.”

He wrapped his arms around his brother and held him close, speaking words of warmth and encouragement until the sobs died down and tears slowed. 

Diego leaned back carefully, lightly resting a hand on Klaus’ shoulder, “What happened?” He asked, concern tinging his voice.

Klaus stared at the wave of evening light as it spilled through his bedroom window into a puddle on the floor and yet all that he could perceive was the very light that had departed from the eyes of the one he loved. His shaking hands appeared so dull, so dark, against the golden rays. He longed for the light to make him joyously hopeful and unbreakable like it once had... But the light, just like Dave, was inevitably fleeting and so with his eyes still fixated on the fading light, he whispered the small empty words that had finally been accepted in his heart,

“I lost someone.”

The joy of true love that was held so closely, devoured by wisps of shadowed sun.

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn’t even compare to all the marvelous works I’ve seen on AO3 but it’s fun to create something anyway.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
